When I had my last job (my last major job) I only got a limited number of sick and vacation days per year. I didn't earn them in hour increments as I do now. Most years I ended up having to be reminded to use both or I would lose them. Even then I just took a few days off and just figured out something to do at home, even if it was relax.
I SO wish that was my problem here. I have probably had more sick days at my new job in the past year than I had at my old job in the last 3 years combined. I'm pretty sure it has to do with my emotional state. While I'm not an outgoing person the people in my life (friends and family) are very dear to me. During one of my last long term relationships I really came to understand exactly how much my friends mean to me. If I'm not around my friends every few days I get antsy/weird. I simply put it as I don't "feel right".
I don't have that option here. Plus, there is also the fact that I don't have a roommate and as such this is the first time I've lived by myself. I've always had someone at home who I can watch a movie or show with, or even play a game with. That's not the case here. My "virtual" friends that I play games online with (via 360) do help keep me sane as my interaction with them has gone through no change since before I moved. Still, that's not a "real" friendship or anything. Oh, and I don't say that to demean those who I've had online friendships with. Such people have gotten me through many a tough time in my life, especially my college days. And I will reinforce that through the fact that when I go to ComicCon in July my big focus is spending time with people who I will have known at that time for 10+ years via the net but never met face to face.
So, I know the difference between "real life" friends and "internet friends". Each have the ability to keep me sane, keep me motivated, and be there for support when I need it for the most part. But, "real life" friends are "here" and "human" and in some ways more "real". I don't really have that here. I've got great co-workers but I really need to have my own life away from work and I'm just not sure how the hell to do that. The fact that most of my friends when I left home were friends from high school shows that I don't add a lot of friends. I don't think I'm "picky" but I do know what I expect of people and what I'm hoping for in what they expect of me.
My worry is that if I can't put a real life together her soon my health will continue to suffer. Even if I hit the gym regularly and get myself as physically as healthy as I can in that fashion I know I'm still going to leave myself vulnerable. Gotta figure something out. I just don't know what.
- Music:The Southland - Shadow