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20th-Jul-2006 09:47 pm
I’ve come to understand lately that I’m idealistic when it comes to certain concepts. I had a bit of a “slap in the face” with that again today. I had a less that great experience dealing with the co-operatorr of a business that I deal with. His choice of words seemed to indicate that I was someone who was less that honest, to which I take great offense. I won’t lie and say I’m always honest about everything (I believe in lying by omission, as opposed to the more “accepted” concept of truth by omission), but I do my best to always be on the up and up.

Anyway, I popped my top when the accusation (which is what I saw it as) came out. That lead to me raising my voice and nearly storming out of the business without making my regular purchases. Not ideal, and arguably even childish, but I do know my temper enough to know when I SHOULD walk away, and I try to do so.

After this situation I talked to a friend of mine about what transpired in order to give him a bit of “heads up” as I figured he would get sucked into it to some degree. It wasn’t in order to have him on “my side.” I’m not so pompous as to believe that I can sway people to my opinion because I’m just soooo cool. I don’t think I could tolerate having someone as a friend who could be swayed by anyone so easily.

We had a long discussion, heated at points, about what I said, what my expectations are and were and how things might turn out. The end result being a short talk about how I am idealistic at times (I brought the point up).

I know I am very good at frustrating people because on some levels I’m simple and others I’m complex. I’m a bit of an anomaly in many ways and when people can’t pin me down, it can get frustrating for them. I don’t pride myself on it, in fact it makes things very difficult at times, but it is who I am and I make no excuses for it.

Relating to the idea of not making excuses really hits the whole “idealistic” thing. People have called me “Pollyanna” because of the expectations that I have regarding this world and the people who live on it. The concept of responsibility is something I harp on a lot and it just doesn’t seem to be something I see much.

As I told my friend this can also be difficult for people to deal with because they don’t “get” why I’m idealistic. The reason? I can afford to be. I don’t have kids, I don’t have a wife, heck I don’t even have someone to share my life with in any kind of romantic sense. Because of this the “mundane distractions” of my life are minimized. It’s pretty much getting money to pay the bills…that’s it. The side effect of that though is that I also have a lot of time to sit and think (too much some might say). I think about society, psychology, philosophy, spirituality, religion, etc. Does it mean I’m well informed in all the areas? Heck no, but it does mean that I might get to put in more time in some areas than other people lives might permit them to. It doesn’t make me better, it just makes me different.

Would I give up my “time” to be idealistic for the sake of a family and children? I don’t know. I guess I’m just of the mindset I have when it comes to people shopping at Wal-Mart. I don’t like Wal-Mart and I wish people wouldn’t shop there (I buy toys I can’t get other places and Gatorade there because nobody else sells the big mix containers). However, I don’t fault people who have a family and limited resources for shopping there. It helps them survive. Do I wish they could do so by giving their business whose practices I believe are more honest and respectful? Sure, but I’m not going to fault someone for saving 10 dollars on food to be able to get extra clothing for their kids.

So, I would just ask that those of you who don’t understand the idealistic mindset some of us have to respect that we might just have the time to hold on to our hopes and dreams right now. Maybe the longer we can the more we can figure out how to bring them into a possible “adult” future. Believe me, I’m not the only one. I believe hinoai is also idealistic (much more so than me), and while I know it confuses the hell out of some folks I for one am glad she is like that because she has always been one of the most accepting people I know (and that doesn’t imply naivety).

Heaven forbid you end up alone and don't know why
Hold on tight wait for tomorrow, you'll be alright

Family, children…idealism of people with high ethics. Does there really have to be a choice?
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