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26th-Jul-2006 09:56 pm
I’m an antagonist. I understand and realize that. The big problem with it (if you consider it such) is that it tends to get wrapped up with my idealism. Not always good.

Idealism on its own is good I think, it keeps the world on its toes. As I said before hinoai is in my opinion an idealist (and hopefully she understood that was a compliment) as I am, the difference is that I am an antagonist, she isn’t. She is willing to accept people for who they are as long as they do the same, and if they don’t she just moves on past them and lets their world continue on for them and hers for her. She’s “better” than me with that.

All the walls close in on me
Pressure’s building wave on wave
‘til the water breaks – and outside I go, oh

Me, I tend to shake people’s worlds as they walk by, especially if they seem to have what I would say is a mindset of “that’s how things are.” There aren’t a lot of things in this world that are a part of our society that just “are.” Scientific rules “are” (until they’re disproved), societal expectations are what they are until they are challenged. That’s me, the challenger. Not always a good challenger mind you, but a challenger nonetheless. That isn’t to say that I am a complete “devil’s advocate,” but I have been known to argue a point I don’t believe in just to get someone to (in my mind) “investigate” their personal reasoning. That’s the antagonism part.

One dot, that’s on or off, defines what is and what is not, one dot

As I said before I seem “compelled” to go after people who seem to have this idea that things “are” or “aren’t” on certain concepts. I see many things similar to the swing of a pendulum on a clock. There are the extreme points of the pendulum’s swing, but it’s only at those points for an instance, the rest of the time it’s actually between the two points and there are many positions it can be at between the extremes. Also, unless there is an outside force compelling the pendulum to propel towards its extremes it will naturally come to rest at the midpoint. In my mind people tend to use the extremes too much. It’s “us” versus “them.” Sad.

My ghost likes to travel so far in the unknown
My ghost likes to travel so deep into your space

And once again we are back to me being an antagonist, and worse yet, an idealistic antagonist. Not only am I willing to push into someone mindset (sometimes unknowingly, sometimes with an air horn), I’m willing to push into society’s mindset. I don’t mind an element of the unknown. I may plan certain things in my life, but that is to give it some semblance of order (if you’ve seen my bedroom you know there is no order in that microcosm) it doesn’t mean I have to know, or believe I know everything. I like some degree of unknown. Going into the unknown offers an opportunity for me to learn. The problem is that as I look to expand my world of knowledge, I may shake your world like a snow globe.

Don’t take it personal, just shake back.
28th-Jul-2006 08:37 am (UTC)
I finally get to comment! ^^ Yeah!!

You definitely have me right, at least by calling me an optimist and an idealist. I definitely consider it a compliment, and honestly, if anybody insinuated to the otherwise, I would be pretty upset. The way that I see it..... well, it's hard to say. I believe that every person in the world is good or interesting in some way, and that's always worth getting to know. I feel like, all of the people that I haven't met yet are just friends that I haven't made. And that's led me to be hurt by people, but when it comes down to it, when there are people that choose to strike out against me (as you've seen a few times in my writings), then they're free to hurt me and then I'll just move on. They might be a good and interesting person too, but in that case, I don't have any intention of getting to know them. If they're out to hurt me, then they're welcome to spend all of their time thinking up ways to do so, even though... really, that's kind of a sad way to live. I don't understand why people choose to do that repeatedly, (pixxers, analineblue and kooriyoukai are good examples of this) but really... I feel that it would be better for everyone if they got over it and moved on too.

On to you and your antagonistic idealism. This is one of the things that first attracted me to you as a person, and honestly, I really deeply admire this part of you. Maybe it's because you're more likely to stand up for your ideals, without being afraid of the consequences, than most people I know. There were times when you shook my world too, in far more ways than one, and whether I agreed or disagreed with what you said, I always came still to respect your point of view in the end, because of the way that you presented it, and how you're willing to look at the other side in things.

You know.. I think, maybe, this is one of the reasons that I've long felt as if I have a connection with you. I can't say that it runs strong, tempered by distance and time, but antagonistic, analytical, passionate or not, I've felt close to you for a long time. Close in a way that I feel completely comfortable. ^-^ I just felt that I needed to say that, for whatever reason.. *hugs*
29th-Jul-2006 02:04 am (UTC)
Thanks for the insights and the kind words. It's tough to get people to understand that just because I may rant and rave while I am standing up for my opinion it doesn't automatically mean that I've closed my mind or ears to the opposite.

And that in turn is why I'm connected to you. You let me be me and understand that in intense/passionate side of me is just a part of me and not all that I am. Again, your accepting nature lets me be me around you without any kind of fear of watching every word.

Anyway, thanks again for the kind words. I needed 'em, especially from a female.
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